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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,931

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Making waves on X:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Going viral on WeChat:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Going viral on WeChat:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Breaking via Discord:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
I'd probably be trying to have a serious conversation with a cat right now! 🐱🍷😂

being, drunk, humor, intoxication, question, right, situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

0

2 months ago

call, crazy, happy, humor, me, people, positivity, self-perception, twist
When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

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2 months ago

am, annoying, commitment, date, expectations, humor, i, know, late, marriage, mean, myself, relationship, saving, say, too, truth
If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

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2 months ago

again, calory, exercise, fitness, humor, ID, irony, need, never, overthinking, self-deprecation
Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

0

2 months ago

body, frustration, humor, i, own, photography, picture, pictures, self, selfie, step, take, wish
Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

0

5 months ago

always, esoteric, folks, humor, knowledge, observation, reason, social, social observation, unemployed
How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

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5 months ago

aging, brain, forgetfulness, humor, memory, nostalgia, number, numbers, phone, phone number, remember, same, used

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Threads this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

15 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Going bananas on Discord:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Breaking via YouTube:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Live now on WeChat:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Going viral on Telegram:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Going viral on Discord:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Breaking via YouTube:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Making waves on YouTube:

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨