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Commentary:
"Dear Universe, I'd like a lifetime supply of pizza, a unicorn, and maybe just one day where my WiFi doesn’t decide to take a vacation 🤞🍕🦄📡"

ask, fun, humor, humor quote, irony, joke, manifestation, next, positive, positive thinking, post, prediction, thinking, under, universe, week, whatever, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

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1 month ago

anxiety, bed, going, laying, nervous, nervous system, sleeplessness, someone, stress, system, tension, war
People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

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2 months ago

back, bed, dream, dreams, follow, humor, i, motivation, people, procrastination, sleep
Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

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5 months ago

arrival, competition, game, humor, paper, rock, scissors
Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

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2 months ago

clickbait, death, humor, irony, obituary, satire, should, title, titles
Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

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2 months ago

accomplishment, balm, coffee, humor, morning, morning routine, motivation, routine, sweet, task
I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

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2 months ago

childhood, commercial, happy, happy meal, humor, i, meal, memory, miss, nostalgia, problem, toy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Icarus loved hot wings.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

59 shares on X this month:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

25 shares on Threads this month:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Going bananas on Slack:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Live now on Pinterest:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Just landed via Threads:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Trending via Telegram:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨