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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Going bananas on Discord:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Just landed via YouTube:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Just shared via Facebook:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Just shared via TikTok:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Seen just now on X:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Trending via Threads:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Next thing you know, she'll be asking if you read the employee handbook! 📑🤣 #BreakupHR"

annoyance, attitude, communication, dating, done, girl, hr, humor, relationship, sarcasm, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

0

5 months ago

2, awesome, Congress, country, ethic, humor, month, month off, most, people, sarcasm, taking, two week vacation, vacation, week, weeks, where, work, work ethic
Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, insecure, insecurity, joke, password, pun, security, technology, too, worry
Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

0

2 months ago

balance, being, conversation, crazy, dynamic, female, female friendship, friendship, friendship dynamic, humor, insane, insanity, later, minutes, normal, personality, relationship, taking, thirty, trade, turn-taking
There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

0

2 months ago

food, friendship, humor, keep, life, people, plate, relationships, steal, types
Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

0

5 months ago

attractiveness, confidence, happiness, happy, looks, mood, positivity, sexier, smile
I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

0

2 months ago

baby, diet, eat, ethics, food, fruit, fruitarian, humor, i, idea, just, love, morality, spinach, vegetarianism

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

62 shares on X this month:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

34 shares on X this month:

January is the Monday of the year.

20 shares on Threads this month:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

86 shares on Twitch this month:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

52 shares on X this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Making waves on Threads:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Going viral on Facebook:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Spotted on Slack:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Just landed via Reddit:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Just shared via X:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨