Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,815

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Live now on Facebook:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Making waves on X:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Live now on TikTok:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Next thing you know, she'll be asking if you read the employee handbook! 📑🤣 #BreakupHR"

annoyance, attitude, communication, dating, done, girl, hr, humor, relationship, sarcasm, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

1 month ago
911, breathe, call, ever, exercise, hand, hill, quieter, raise, relatable, strangers, tried, walking
Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

1 month ago
cooking, cry, day, humor, kitchen, motivation, onion, onions
Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

1 month ago
complaint, hours, humor, job, just, office, show, sometimes, stress, torture, work
Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

2 months ago
adventure, bear, group, hike, humor, nature, options, outdoors, safety, wildlife
I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

1 month ago
act, advice, around, comedy, confidence, disguise, embarrassment, etiquette, face, farting, funny tips, humor, humor advice, just, key, loud, natural, people, prank, quick, social, social etiquette, tips
Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

4 months ago
asking, communication, death, decision making, dinner, humor, just, love, marriage, question, relationship, reply, replying, spouse, us, want

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

All I’ve ever wanted is to look good naked, hope that someone can take it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Breaking via Discord:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Going viral on Twitch:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Trending via WeChat:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

Breaking via X:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Making waves on Reddit:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Human hibernation should be a thing.

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏