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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Live now on Twitch:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Just landed via TikTok:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Going viral on Instagram:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Just shared via Telegram:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

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When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.
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Commentary:
"When I find a jam, I'm on repeat till the artist sends a thirst trap 😅🎶💧"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

10 shares on X this month:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

25 shares on Threads this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,255

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Just shared via Threads:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Shared recently on Threads:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Seen just now on Threads:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Spotted on Threads:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

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