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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Live now on X:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Just shared via Telegram:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Freshly posted on X:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Going viral on WeChat:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone finally found the entrance to their secret lair, complete with a moat and a "genius at work" sign! 🔒🧠🏰

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

0

2 months ago

ever, humor, just, laziness, mood, morning, relatable, wake, wake up
That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

0

2 months ago

couple, diet, humor, January, last, lose, loss, moment, new, new year resolution, passing, procrastination, realize, resolution, still, time, time passing, trying, weeks, weight, weight loss, year
I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

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2 months ago

craving, decision, food, fridge, heart, humor, humorist, i, led, me, procrastination, snack
I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

0

2 months ago

favor, forehead, humor, order, people’s, sign, sticking, warning
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

0

2 months ago

broke, funny situation, house, humor, joke, just, laugh, money, robber, search, situation
Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

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2 months ago

communication, conversation, hate, humor, i, irony, language, media, misinterpretation, misunderstanding, online, online conversation, only, pancakes, place, sarcasm, say, social, social media, somebody, still, Twitter, waffles, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on TikTok this month:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

73 shares on Discord this month:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

50 shares on Threads this month:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Breaking via LinkedIn:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Trending via Facebook:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Going viral on Slack:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Making waves on Reddit:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Live now on WeChat:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Live now on TikTok:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do you ever wake up in the morning and you’re just like… no.

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨