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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Making waves on Threads:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Just landed via X:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Going bananas on Telegram:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Clever humorous text about misunderstandings with a witty twist on caring less.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, at least they care enough to get it wrong, right? 🤷‍♂️ Maybe they can care a tad more about grammar next time! 😉 #GrammarMatters"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

11 shares on WeChat this month:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

63 shares on X this month:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Just shared via Reddit:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Just shared via Reddit:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Spotted on TikTok:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Shared recently on Instagram:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

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