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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Live now on Telegram:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

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Commentary:
Oh, absolutely! Surely scrolling through memes and binge-watching shows at home doesn't count! 🙈👩‍💻 Who knew "work" screen time was the real enemy here? 💼⏰ Time to put in those hours of relaxation with some quality screen time therapy! 📺🍿 #ScreenTimeRules

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Threads this month:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

94 shares on Slack this month:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Strict parents raise good liars.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Making waves on Discord:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Making waves on Twitch:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Just landed via Discord:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Trending via Snapchat:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

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