Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Trending via YouTube:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Just shared via Twitch:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Making waves on WeChat:

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Breaking via WeChat:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Just landed via TikTok:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Avocado is just green butter.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Going viral on Discord:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

7 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about adulthood longing for childhood punishments turned goals.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
And I used to resist my future life goals… guess I peaked in kindergarten! 😴🏡🍏🌙

adult, bed, bedtime, childhood, early, food, goal, goals, home, humor, junk, junk food, kid, nap, parenting, punishment, realization, realize, snack, stay, stay home, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

6 days ago

2020, Covid, death, died, hell, humor, i, irony, maybe, pandemic
I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

1 week ago

catch, confidence, dating, flirt, fun, humor, me, never, relationship, romantic, single, too
Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

1 week ago

bored, boredom, cheat, cheating, commitment, dating, fall, honesty, humor, humor quote, me, relationship, right, treat
I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

3 weeks ago

cold, dryer, humor, i, warmth, wish
Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

2 weeks ago

alone, apartment, crazy, crazy idea, go insane, going, humor, idea, insane, lighthouse, living, living alone, save, save up
My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

3 weeks ago

awkward, awkward moment, favorite, humor, i, interaction, know, moment, people, pretend, public, social, social interaction, thing

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

61 shares on Discord this month:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

32 shares on X this month:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Going viral on Reddit:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Trending via Pinterest:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Just landed via Discord:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Freshly posted on X:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨