Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

24 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Reported on TikTok:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Just shared via Facebook:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Reported on Slack:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Going viral on Threads:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Just landed via Facebook:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Shared recently on Threads:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

6 months ago

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sign me up for the 'Professional Nodder' position!🙋‍♂️💼 Just imagine getting paid to perfect the art of nodding approvingly in front of someone else's hard work. Who needs originality anyway when you've got 2M followers nodding along with you?😂👏 #NoddingInfluence"

commentary, content, followers, front, humor, i, influencer, just, media, nodding, satire, sign, social, social media, standing, thing, where, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

24 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Live now on Facebook:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Breaking via Facebook:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I will be notified immediately.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴