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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The best plans on a Friday night are no plans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

Seen just now on Threads:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Shared recently on Slack:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Spreading quickly via X:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Just shared via Facebook:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Just shared via Instagram:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?
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Commentary:
"Sign me up for the 'Professional Nodder' position!🙋‍♂️💼 Just imagine getting paid to perfect the art of nodding approvingly in front of someone else's hard work. Who needs originality anyway when you've got 2M followers nodding along with you?😂👏 #NoddingInfluence"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

15 shares on Threads this month:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

19 shares on Facebook this month:

A selfie only a mother could like.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when lashes make me look evil.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Making waves on Instagram:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Shared recently on Messenger:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Breaking via Reddit:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Spotted on TikTok:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Seen just now on Discord:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Trending via Slack:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

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