Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,241

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Trending via YouTube:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Making waves on Instagram:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Going viral on Slack:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Trending via Slack:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Spotted on Discord:

These aliens are taking forever.

Just landed via Discord:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Live now on Slack:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When nature's alarm goes off, snooze isn't an option! 🚽⏰😴

alarm, alarm clock, bladder, clock, humor, morning, morning routine, needs, routine, waking, waking up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

0

2 months ago

around, depression, feel, harmonica, hear, humor, me, music, self-expression, skills, working
My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

0

5 months ago

alone, awkward, awkward situation, college, ex, gf, girlfriend, humor, i, just, lot, means, reason, relationship, situation, story, talk, where
I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

0

2 months ago

bag, butter, chocolate, craving, family, food, humor, i, indulgence, M&Ms, peanut, peanut butter, snack, sweets, want
I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

0

2 months ago

apology, behavior, bit, bite, hand, humor, i, pet, pet behavior, popcorn, snack, sorry
If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

0

2 months ago

able, forgetfulness, humor, joke, memory, own, party, plan, sarcasm, surprise, surprise party, worse
They should invent a day where it all works out.

0

3 months ago

day, humor, invent, invention, life, luck, optimism, should, where, wish, works

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on WeChat this month:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

41 shares on Slack this month:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

37 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨