Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

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“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.