Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Live now on Instagram:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Trending via Slack:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Just landed via X:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Making waves on X:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

17 hours ago

Playful joke about street pick-up lines and flirtatious humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Approaching women on the street with lines like 'whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?' is like trying to catch a fish with a loudspeaker instead of a fishing rod 🎣🔊. Let's just say subtlety might work better than a bold approach in this case!"

approach, babe, convention, dating, flirting, hot, hot babe, humor, line, love, pickup, pickup line, say, street, town, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

18 shares on WeChat this month:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

A good substitute for love and and personal fulfillment is a big bowl of fries.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

64 shares on X this month:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

About to form my very first opinion.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Trending via Facebook:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Just landed via WeChat:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Just shared via Facebook:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

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