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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,341

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Shared recently on Discord:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Trending via TikTok:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Trending via Instagram:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Going viral on YouTube:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Just shared via Messenger:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Work beers should be a daily thing.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about workplace drinks, playful suggestion for daily beers.

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Commentary:
Time to update the employee handbook to include 'Beer O'Clock' every day! 🍺😄🎉

beer, beers, culture, daily, daily routine, humor, office, office culture, relaxation, routine, should, socializing, thing, work

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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

57 shares on TikTok this month:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

90 shares on Slack this month:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

64 shares on Twitch this month:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Spotted on Discord:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Just shared via Snapchat:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Spotted on Twitch:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

Just shared via Reddit:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Making waves on Discord:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Making waves on Messenger:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Going bananas on X:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Going viral on Discord:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Spotted on Threads:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨