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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2157 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,319

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,319

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Spotted on Reddit:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Breaking via Messenger:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Seen just now on X:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Freshly posted on X:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Work beers should be a daily thing.
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Commentary:
Time to update the employee handbook to include 'Beer O'Clock' every day! 🍺😄🎉

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2157 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,319

Funny Quotes Topics

15,045

Funny Quotes Images

12,319

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I am single, please disturb me!

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Spotted on WeChat:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Shared recently on X:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Just landed via X:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Live now on X:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Shared recently on Reddit:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

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