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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Spotted on Slack:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Making waves on Discord:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Going viral on Instagram:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

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Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.
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Commentary:
"Guess who's the new head of hair-raising trends at the office! 💇‍♂️✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

10 shares on Discord this month:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Going bananas on X:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Making waves on Telegram:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Going viral on X:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Going viral on Threads:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

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