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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,810

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Trending via LinkedIn:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Going viral on X:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Trending via Messenger:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Spotted on Messenger:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

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You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.
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Commentary:
Well, I guess that explains why my flight plan was more flop than soar! 🦸‍♂️🛑✈️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

10 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

82 shares on Slack this month:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,604

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Live now on Threads:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Just shared via Threads:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Spotted on YouTube:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Just landed via Messenger:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

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