Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Seen just now on X:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Live now on X:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Trending via Snapchat:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Just landed via Threads:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Making waves on Slack:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Going viral on YouTube:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dream big, but end meetings bigger! 😅🕒 #HeroStatus"

anything, early, fun, humor, humor quote, meeting, motivation, office, office humor, person, procrastination, productivity, sarcasm, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

0

2 months ago

health, humor, joy, lead, media, mental, mental health, news, optimism, positivity, relief, security, sense, stress, stress relief, warning, watching
I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

0

2 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, fitness, humor, i, irony, laziness, motivation, stand, technology, want, watch
Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

0

2 months ago

after, back, came, exercise, fitness, five, forgot, humor, i, jogging, minutes, motivation, out of shape, personal, personal struggle, running, self-awareness, shape, something, struggle
When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

0

2 months ago

ambitious, appearance, compliment, face, humor, i, irony, killer, meant, personality, serial, serial killer
Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, hr, humor, mistake, office, personality, real, today, truth, used, work
These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

0

2 months ago

accept, acceptance, comparison, cooky, days, family, fight, grandma, humor, i, just, protest, technology, website

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

85 shares on X this month:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

85 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

62 shares on Reddit this month:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Going viral on Facebook:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Spotted on Slack:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Spotted on Slack:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Spotted on Reddit:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Shared recently on Discord:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨