Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew cooking brown rice required a schedule 📆 while eggs just need a quick timer ⏲️? Brown rice be like 'Hold on, let me check my calendar before I get all chewy and clumpy!' 🍚🤣 #KitchenConundrums"

brown, brown rice, calendar, cooking, egg, food, humor, management, perfect, perfectly, rice, tell, time, time management, timer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, budget, even, fashion, humor, just, money, personal, personal style, real, style, vision, wait
If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

0

2 months ago

apple, fairy, fairy tale, food, food humor, food preference, humor, i, love, me, poison, preference, romance, snow, Snow White, something, taco, tale, white
Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

0

2 months ago

blocked, dating, dorito, humor, me, neato, pringle, quirkiness, relationship, single, someone
I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

0

2 months ago

am, another, caffeine, coffee, energy, humor, humor quote, i, morning, sleep, sleeping, standing, tiredness, wakefulness
Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

0

2 months ago

appearance, dating, funny observation, humor, just, marriage, need, observation, people, relationship, self-similarity, stop, wig
Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

0

2 months ago

20s, activity, discussing, food, fun, fun activity, growth, humor, lifestyle, making, new, personal, personal growth, related, soup, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

14 shares on X this month:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Going viral on X:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Just landed via X:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Spotted on WeChat:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Just landed via Twitch:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I followed my heart. It led me to the fridge.

Spotted on Threads:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Making waves on Messenger:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨