Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew cooking brown rice required a schedule 📆 while eggs just need a quick timer ⏲️? Brown rice be like 'Hold on, let me check my calendar before I get all chewy and clumpy!' 🍚🤣 #KitchenConundrums"

brown, brown rice, calendar, cooking, egg, food, humor, management, perfect, perfectly, rice, tell, time, time management, timer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

1 month ago
days, do nothing, energy, feel, feeling, here, hotel, humor, just, lazy, microwave, nothing, power, relatable
The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

4 days ago
attraction, awkward, desire, forbidden, humor, me, person, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension
Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

1 month ago
always, cat, complaint, conversation, father, garden, humor, neighbor, okay, running, tell
Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

1 month ago
around, attitude, baby, belief, believe, care, days, faith, God, here, humor, i, religion, spirituality, trending
Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

4 months ago
advice, career, dream, dreams, field, follow, future, graduate, human, humans, humor, job, still
I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

1 month ago
agree, attention, comment, constant, humor, i, media, need, online, people, share, social, social media, stand, validation

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Trending via Slack:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Just landed via Telegram:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Just landed via Threads:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Just landed via Messenger:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏