Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1140 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,302

Funny Quotes Topics

14,216

Funny Quotes Images

11,302

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Just shared via WeChat:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Just landed via WeChat:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Just landed via YouTube:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Shared recently on Threads:

Due to foreseen circumstances, well within my control, I will be late.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your argument falls on *deaf* ears… because earplugs! 🎧🙉😂"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1140 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,302

Funny Quotes Topics

14,216

Funny Quotes Images

11,302

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Shared recently on TikTok:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Shared recently on X:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Just shared via Threads:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Spotted on Discord:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Going viral on X:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴