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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,993

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Trending via Snapchat:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I run a parody bank account.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Just shared via Telegram:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Going viral on Telegram:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

2 months ago

0

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for the perfect hot dog at a baseball game! 🌭🎶 Just imagine me, belting out 'hot dogs! hot dogs!' like a culinary symphony conductor in the stands. 🌭🎵 Who needs peanuts and cracker jacks when you've got a serious hot dog mission to fulfill?"

again, baseball, craving, dog, dogs, ever, food, game, guy, hear, hot, hot dog, humor, looking, me, over, sports, vendor, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

0

2 months ago

bear, close, even, food, food source, funny thought, grocery, grocery store, gummy, gummy bear, humor, hunt, i, know, little, live, source, store, stores, survival, thought, where
“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

0

1 month ago

alone, alone time, favorite, favourite, humor, introvert, life, mood, relaxation, social, social life, state, time, unavailable
How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

0

2 months ago

corporate, corporate job, day, email, fake, fake job, home, humor, i, job, jobs, laptop, lazy, lazy work, life, office, office humor, open, outlook, paid, remote, remote work, responding, whatever, where, work, work from home, work life
I need a chiropractor for my brain.

0

2 months ago

brain, chiropractor, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, relief, stress, stress relief
Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, corn, corn maze, fun, fun activity, humor, just, kids, let, little, lost, maze, never, oh, parenting, right, stay
Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

0

2 months ago

acoustic, acoustic guitar, comparison, donut, donuts, end, food, guitar, hole, humor, just, much, music, pretty, similarity, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

50 shares on Threads this month:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

56 shares on X this month:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

27 shares on X this month:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Trending via Threads:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Going viral on Slack:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Going viral on Messenger:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

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