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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,047

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Trending via TikTok:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Making waves on X:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Going viral on Telegram:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Trending via Twitch:

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

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You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for the perfect hot dog at a baseball game! 🌭🎶 Just imagine me, belting out 'hot dogs! hot dogs!' like a culinary symphony conductor in the stands. 🌭🎵 Who needs peanuts and cracker jacks when you've got a serious hot dog mission to fulfill?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

98 shares on Slack this month:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,688

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Just landed via YouTube:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Spotted on YouTube:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Live now on Discord:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

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