Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,790

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Live now on Instagram:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Making waves on Telegram:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Trending via Threads:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

1 day ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I better start making coffee that even my spreadsheets can't ignore! ☕📈💼

8, business, create, deadline, hours, humor, productivity, shareholder, time, value, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

0

3 weeks ago

book, horny, humor, i, lifestyle, reading, self-awareness, should, something, start, toxic
I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

0

2 months ago

bag, hole, humor, losing, marble, sanity
I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

0

2 months ago

character, dislike, entertainment, hate, hour, humor, i, life, likable, likable character, movie, need, people, show, shows, sick, spend, spending, spending time, time, TV, TV Show, where
Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

0

2 months ago

complain, coworkers, family, fire, hr, humor, kids, mom, relationships, workplace
Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

0

2 months ago

Bitcoin, boys, cash, comparison, finance, humor, joke, just, kohl’s, Kohl’s Cash, money, shopping
Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

0

5 months ago

after, chore, cleaned, cleaning, cookbook, cooking, dish, dishes, humor, kitchen, making, need, photo, recipe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

43 shares on X this month:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

73 shares on X this month:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

70 shares on Threads this month:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Just shared via Threads:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Just landed via Facebook:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Going viral on TikTok:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Making waves on Slack:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Trending via Twitch:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Going viral on X:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Making waves on Slack:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨