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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,985

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Spotted on Twitch:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Just shared via X:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Spotted on Reddit:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Seen just now on Threads:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
If missing my dog was a valid excuse, I'd be home before I even left! 🐶🏃‍♂️✨

allowed, dog, early, early leave, home, humor, leave, lot, miss, missing, missing pet, pet, should, work, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

1 month ago
big, big picture, focus, going, humor, much, perspective, picture, seeing, simplicity, small, small picture, tired, too, too much
Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

1 month ago
back, change, clothing, fashion, giving, giving back, guy, humor, jeans, joke, skinny, society, style, taking, wardrobe, wardrobe change
That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

1 month ago
aging, distance, family, humor, making, older, perspective, relationship, rest, sense, start, uncle, wisdom
I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

2 months ago
activity, display, fun, fun activity, humor, i, making, making out, miss, nostalgia, people, public, public display, romance, uncomfortable
It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

1 month ago
animal, camel, Carl, desert, horse, humor, i, name, rental, return, return trip, through, travel, trip, true
What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

1 month ago
being, drunk, humor, intoxication, question, right, situation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

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You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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