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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,038

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Trending via YouTube:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Just shared via Facebook:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Just shared via Threads:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
When a series drops a banger, my remote goes missing because I'm too busy dancing! 💃🎶😂

best, entertainment, ever, favorite, favorite song, just, life, moment, music, playing, series, sery, song, start, surprise, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

1 month ago
being, dancing, fun, girl, humor, Molly, name, party, rave, situation, tough
I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

1 month ago
care, even, existence, humor, i, irony, life, perspective, planet, planets, self-deprecation
Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

5 months ago
artist, artists, band, big, calling, fan, humor, last, music, name, nickname
The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

1 month ago
bathroom, cleanliness, concern, hands, hygiene, i, only, people, restroom, thing, washing, worry
Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

1 month ago
anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work
Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

1 month ago
activity, camping, desire, fun, fun activity, humor, terrible, terrible thing, thing, things, want

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Making waves on WeChat:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Making waves on Slack:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Trending via Instagram:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Making waves on Telegram:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

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Activity Log ✨

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

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You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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