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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Trending via TikTok:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Live now on X:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Making waves on Messenger:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Breaking via Instagram:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Just shared via Slack:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

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You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.
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Commentary:
When a series drops a banger, my remote goes missing because I'm too busy dancing! 💃🎶😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

39 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

45 shares on X this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

My kid asked me if I’ve ever experienced hallucinations, which is an odd thing to ask considering I don’t have any kids.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

Seen just now on Slack:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Trending via WhatsApp:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Spotted on Telegram:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Live now on Snapchat:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Just shared via X:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

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