Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.