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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Breaking via Twitch:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Making waves on Twitch:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Making waves on TikTok:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Just landed via TikTok:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Making waves on X:

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When you're trying to find the fine print on your Friday happiness warranty: 😄🔍📜💼

allowed, fine, fine print, Friday, grumpy, humor, mood, print, rule, somewhere, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

0

3 months ago

anxiety, creepiness, fear, looking, me, night, paranoia, right, someone, stranger, window, worst
“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

0

6 months ago

compliment, disorder, humor, i, love, OMG, personality, sarcasm, thanks
My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

0

2 months ago

blooper, humor, life, mistakes, moments, reel, whole
They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

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2 months ago

actually, check, different, every, humor, irony, joke, nature, observation, say, snowflake, someone
Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

0

2 months ago

communication, ever, express, expression, feel, frustrating, frustration, intelligence, intelligent, mind, mouth, smart, speaking, stupid
People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

0

2 months ago

crowd, grocery, grocery store, humor, impatience, me, people, same, shopping, store, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

66 shares on Threads this month:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Just shared via Messenger:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Live now on Slack:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Seen just now on Slack:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Seen just now on Discord:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨