Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

57 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Trending via LinkedIn:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Live now on Twitch:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Reported on Twitch:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Just shared via Threads:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Jan 23, 2025

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the pilot's in for some impromptu sightseeing if you choose a marathon movie! ✈️🎬 Just imagine them circling the skies, wondering why they're suddenly on a prolonged scenic tour instead of landing on time. Maybe they'll even have time for a snack break at cruising altitude! 🍿✈️

around, bit, entertainment, flight, fly, humor, movie, notification, pick, pilot, time, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2431 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,593

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,593

57 minutes ago

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Breaking via Instagram:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Live now on TikTok:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Trending via TikTok:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Breaking via Instagram:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Reported on Telegram:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Trending via YouTube:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴