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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has bookmarked:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2133 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,295

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,295

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Reported on Discord:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Shared recently on Slack:

You ran a half marathon? Thatโ€™s really cool, Iโ€™ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Just shared via X:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Just landed via Facebook:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Iโ€™m like a candle: Iโ€™m cute, I smell nice, and thereโ€™s a pretty good chance Iโ€™ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Live now on Telegram:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because itโ€™s just such a joy to be alive.

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because itโ€™s just such a joy to be alive.
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Commentary:
"Looks like someone's living life on the five-star lane! ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿฟ Who needs critics when you've got an abundance of joy-sparking movies at your fingertips, right? Keep that positivity train rolling, movie buff!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2133 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,295

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,295

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has shared:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

If the apple really doesnโ€™t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via WhatsApp:

Adult friendships are like, โ€œhey girl, letโ€™s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.โ€

Going viral on Pinterest:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Anytime I switch deodorants, itโ€™s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Promising I wonโ€™t tell anyone your secret doesnโ€™t include my husband. Heโ€™s basically my diary.

Going viral on Facebook:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Just landed via X:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

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