When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.