Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Remember, a diamond is forever… but so is your teen's grudge collection! 💎😅 Keep a glowing collection of both, because you never know when you might need to trade one for the other! ⚖️😂"

day, diamond, every, forever, grudge, humor, me, parenting, random, relationship, sarcasm, stuff, teen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

0

3 months ago

bottle, hand, hate, i, lotion, lotion bottle, mucus, mucus plug, palm, plug, pump, skincare
I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

0

2 months ago

age, am, AOL, AOL Instant Messenger, chat, i, instant, internet, messaging, messenger, nostalgia, old, technology
I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, curiosity, dinosaurs, even, exploration, fun, fun activity, humor, i, jurassic, Jurassic Park, park, risk, say, seen, visit
The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

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2 months ago

bigger, even, failure, forget, humor, humor quote, irony, learning, life, mistake, mistakes, only, past, present
You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

0

2 months ago

celebration, clothes, family, fit, food, humor, know, longer, overeating, success, successful, Thanksgiving
I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

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2 months ago

absurdity, drink, frustration, humor, i, irony, just, pee, planet, prison, water

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

93 shares on Messenger this month:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

43 shares on X this month:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

72 shares on Threads this month:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

31 shares on Discord this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Spotted on Twitch:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Spreading quickly via X:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Spotted on Instagram:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨