Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Spotted on X:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Breaking via Discord:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Trending via WeChat:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Making waves on Messenger:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Just shared via X:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about a friend removing toxic people, playful and humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like everyone checked their phones for a text from him 😂📱✂️

cut, decision, friend, humor, i, informed, life, mine, people, person, toxic, toxic person

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on X this month:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Going bananas on Messenger:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Making waves on TikTok:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Trending via Facebook:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Making waves on Discord:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨