Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

429 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,698

Funny Quotes Topics

17,716

Funny Quotes Images

15,698

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Trending via X:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Seen just now on Discord:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Spotted on X:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Going viral on TikTok:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Just landed via Twitch:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Breaking via Instagram:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Just shared via Telegram:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Trending via Snapchat:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my back just RSVP'd 'nope' to floor wrapping this year! 🎁🙅‍♂️🧓

birth, birth year, Christmas, Christmas present, consider, floor, gentle, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, present, presents, reminder, should, table, wrap, wrapping, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

2 months ago

activity, ago, always, bots, comedy, hilarious, humor, internet, internet humor, just, liking, me, media, online, online activity, porn, posts, self-deprecating, social, social media, viral
If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

2 months ago

anything, attitude, confidence, humor, i, just, know, mad, me, media, post, provoking, sarcasm, self-expression, social, social media, trolling
Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

2 months ago

attitude, care, cat, cats, everything, hear, hearing, humor, indifference, just, pet
If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

2 months ago

confidence, ever, feel, flirt, humor, joke, life, me, missing, playful, romantic, sarcasm, self-esteem
90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

2 months ago

90s, cloning, Earth, flat earth, Flat Earther, humor, last, Mars, robot, round, science, scientists, sheep, time, today
Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

2 months ago

40s, advice, aging, apple, apples, doctors, health, humor, matter, need, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent someone who holds me.

33 shares on Facebook this month:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

43 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

43 shares on X this month:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Spotted on TikTok:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Just landed via Discord:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Just landed via X:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Making waves on Slack:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Trending via Facebook:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨