Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,862

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Just landed via Twitch:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Spotted on Threads:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Breaking via Reddit:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Trending via Pinterest:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like my back just RSVP'd 'nope' to floor wrapping this year! 🎁🙅‍♂️🧓

birth, birth year, Christmas, Christmas present, consider, floor, gentle, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, present, presents, reminder, should, table, wrap, wrapping, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

0

1 month ago

apocalypse, end, end times, existential, front-row, front-row seat, getting, humor, joke, satire, seat, times
Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, cloth, date, dining, embarrassing, ever, fancy, food, good, luck, moment, restaurant, self-esteem, stain, table, table cloth, white
If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

0

2 months ago

activity, bell, flirt, fun, holiday, humor, jingle, playful
Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

0

2 months ago

bullied, chatter, conflict, food, head, humor, inner, inner conflict, mental, mental chatter, stomach, voices
I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

0

2 months ago

advice, date, dating, dating advice, first date, house, humor, i, pay, payment, person, relationship, should, think
God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

0

2 months ago

conversation, God, humor, i, powerful, self-awareness, skills

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on X this month:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

92 shares on Discord this month:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

My recliner and I go way back.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Going viral on YouTube:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Shared recently on TikTok:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨