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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Making waves on Facebook:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Spotted on X:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Making waves on X:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Trending via Threads:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Broadcasted on X:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Just shared via Facebook:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like he's found the ultimate life hack for job hunting 😂📝🚀

application, applying, communism, employment, guy, humor, job, job application, jobs, just, laziness, political, politics, satire, somewhere, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

0

2 months ago

Canada, close, culture, friendliness, geography, holiday, humor, nice, Santa
My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

0

2 months ago

asked, coffee, dental, dental visit, dentist, drink, humor, i, joke, smoke, stain, teeth, visit
It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

0

4 months ago

adulthood, being, humor, irony, just, lesson, life, life lesson, new, responsibility, responsible, reward, sucks
I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

0

2 months ago

always, best, humor, i, irony, self-reflection, shouldn’t, things
I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

0

2 months ago

affection, awkward, awkward situation, bathroom, humor, i, love, matter, relationship, shower, situation, surprise, trying
Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, boring, climbing, cold, death, dumb, everest, fun, fun activity, just, looks, mount, Mount Everest, opinion, personal, personal opinion, risk, super, thanks, uphill, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Facebook this month:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

16 shares on X this month:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

99 shares on Threads this month:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Live now on Messenger:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Spotted on Discord:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨