Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Just landed via TikTok:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Spotted on Messenger:

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Shared recently on Twitch:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Spotted on WeChat:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Witty text highlighting a humorous pun linking shopping and pleasure.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a treasure map when you have the word 'shopping' to lead you right to the hidden gems? 💎👜💰 It's like a secret code only women can decipher! 😉 #RetailTherapy"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Seen just now on X:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Making waves on X:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Just landed via YouTube:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

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