Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Seen just now on Reddit:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Trending via YouTube:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Going viral on Messenger:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Live now on Reddit:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Making waves on X:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Spotted on Discord:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dry January isn't just a challenge, it's a full-body experience! 🐪💦😂

alcohol-free, am, doing, dry, Dry January, hair, hand, hands, humor, i, January, lip, lips, self-care, skin

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

2 months ago

humor, irony, management, procrastination, productive, productivity, terms, time, time management, today, wasting, wasting time
If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

2 months ago

aisle, check, decision, ever, food, humor, i, just, missing, snack
I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

2 months ago

bad, bad girl, confidence, everything, girl, humor, i, joke, relationship, self-deprecation, well, wit
Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

2 months ago

apps, charged, consider, dating, even, falling, friendship, humor, i, least, love, me, need, never, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, tension, weird, work
So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

2 months ago

call, community, creepy, Creepy Steve, crime, humor, just, last, man, missing, never, podcast, police, response, seen, steve, true, true crime, week, woman, young
Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

2 months ago

care, deodorant, humor, hygiene, key, perfume, personal, personal care, shower, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

79 shares on Messenger this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

11 shares on X this month:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

92 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Spotted on WeChat:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Just shared via Threads:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Trending via Threads:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Going viral on Messenger:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Shared recently on Discord:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Just shared via Discord:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Trending via Telegram:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Trending via Instagram:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨