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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% β€œooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has copied:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has downloaded:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Slack:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Shared recently on Discord:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Seen just now on Discord:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Trending via X:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Shared recently on Threads:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Live now on Facebook:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Making waves on Slack:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.
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Commentary:
Is there a map for adulting? Because I'm lost somewhere between "always sleepy" and "ouch, my back!" πŸ˜΄πŸ—ΊοΈπŸ™†β€β™‚οΈ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has copied:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡΄ has shared:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has shared:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has copied:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has copied:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via TikTok:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like β€œcheesed to meet you”.

Making waves on Slack:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Spotted on Slack:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Going viral on TikTok:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Just shared via Reddit:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

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