Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Making waves on Discord:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Going viral on Messenger:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Breaking via Facebook:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Shared recently on Discord:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess who just dropped the mic at the front door? 🎤🚪💥

another, casual, domestic, domestic life, door, front, home, humor, humorist, i, irony, life, myself, own, say, self-awareness, surprise, unexpected, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

0

2 months ago

fame, humor, i, me, media, money, personal, personal reflection, post, reflection, self-awareness, seriously, social, social media, something, wrong
I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

0

5 months ago

bustle, dally, dilly, humor, hustle, i, laziness, procrastination, relaxation
I am not in a good place, geographically.

0

2 months ago

am, geography, good, humor, i, location, mindset, place
Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

0

3 months ago

40s, aging, frustration, guest, hair, here, humor, looks, pissed, shows, uninvited, uninvited guest, welcome, where
“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

0

3 weeks ago

bacteria, biology, complex, complexity, diversity, gut, gut microbiome, health, humor, joke, just, mad, microbiology, microbiome, science, science joke, yours
I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

0

2 months ago

contemplation, enjoyment, fill, i, leisure, life, life perspective, pace, perspective, porch, relaxation, sitting, slow, slow pace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Threads this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

95 shares on Discord this month:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

10 shares on Threads this month:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

76 shares on X this month:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

96 shares on X this month:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Hey Alexa… remind me why I walked into this room.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Live now on Instagram:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Freshly posted on X:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Just landed via Slack:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨