Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Just shared via TikTok:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Going viral on YouTube:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Trending via Discord:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Spotted on Threads:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Making waves on Slack:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Trending via Instagram:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Relationship status: it's complicated, but my reflection totally gets me. 🙄💔😂 #MirrorMate"

anyone, close, dating, eyes, humor, i, mirrors, past, self-awareness, self-esteem, self-image, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

0

2 months ago

advice, bite, context, feeds, hand, hands, humor, just, qualify
“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult decision, choice, decision, food, food choice, fry, humor, life, life choice, priorities, salad
Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

0

2 months ago

date, end, getting, humor, marriage, married, porn, relationship, watch
Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

0

2 months ago

conclusion, conclusions, essay, following, humor, necessary, question, why, writing
Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

0

2 months ago

agree, conversation, dude, humor, public, random, self, talking, Twitter, walking, yourself
I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

0

2 months ago

apple, Apple Watch, fitness, humor, i, irony, laziness, motivation, stand, technology, want, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Discord this month:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

52 shares on Threads this month:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

98 shares on X this month:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

19 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Seen just now on Threads:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Going viral on Instagram:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Spotted on Threads:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Live now on Instagram:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨