Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Trending via Discord:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Going viral on X:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Going viral on Discord:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Freshly posted on X:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Trending via Messenger:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Making waves on Reddit:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

2 hours ago

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Commentary:
Embracing the solemn responsibility of binge-watching entire series without interruption—I'm essentially doing it for the kids! 🍿📺😂

adult, childless, childless adult, chill, duty, embrace, free, free time, fun, fun thing, hobby, honor, i, pastime, population, thing, things, time, vibe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

2 months ago

friend, friends, life, motivation, parent, parents, procrastination, self-deception, student, student life, study, studying, tomorrow, yourself
One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

2 months ago

awkward, downhill, embarrassing, embarrassment, humor, things, walking, world
My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

2 months ago

comedy, doing, dry, humor, joke, PowerPoint, presentation, skin
The art of letting whoever think whatever.

1 month ago

art, humor, letting, letting go, mindset, opinion, think, whatever
The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

2 months ago

anticipation, before, bench, bench press, exercise, fitness, good, gym, humor, laying, lifting, press, relaxation, right, workout
My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

2 months ago

boyfriend, buffalo, Buffalo sauce, cat, encourage, funny moment, humor, i, just, licking, moment, pet, pet humor, sauce, things, try

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

23 shares on Threads this month:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

48 shares on X this month:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

15 shares on Slack this month:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Breaking via WeChat:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Just shared via WeChat:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Seen just now on Slack:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨