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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Going bananas on Messenger:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Just landed via Facebook:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Just landed via Messenger:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Going viral on X:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Making waves on Reddit:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

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Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.
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Commentary:
When life gives you billionaires, make lemonade… and charge them $10 for it! 💼🍋💸

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

100 shares on Slack this month:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

78 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Seen just now on Discord:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Breaking via Instagram:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Going viral on Instagram:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Making waves on X:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

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