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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Spotted on Telegram:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Live now on X:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Just landed via X:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text about boobs winning, humorously dismissing rock-paper-scissors with playful charm.

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Commentary:
"Can you imagine trying to pick a winner? Rock, paper… oops, everyone's too distracted 😆👀✨"

always, boobs, gender, gender humor, humor, humorous, joke, lighthearted, paper, play, playful, pun, rock, why, win, witty, wordplay

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12 shares on TikTok this month:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

62 shares on Messenger this month:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

29 shares on Threads this month:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

He took my last fry, your honor.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

55 shares on Reddit this month:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Breaking via Threads:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Just shared via Messenger:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Live now on Telegram:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

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Activity Log ✨

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨