Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Just shared via YouTube:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Seen just now on Threads:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Making waves on Twitch:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Just landed via Slack:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Live now on YouTube:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Trending via WeChat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂📸 Guilty as charged! My phone's storage is basically a screenshot museum I never visit! 🖼️✨

again, born, digital, everything, habit, humor, media, memory, never, phone, procrastination, screenshot, social, social media, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

0

2 months ago

existential, favorite, humor, humor quote, irony, looking, meaning, none, pastime, philosophical, sarcasm, where
I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

0

2 months ago

add, affection, humor, ID, keychain, playful, quirky, relationship, shrink
I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

0

5 months ago

casual, casual conversation, conversation, drinking, drunk, getting, humor, i, just, me, self-reflection
I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

0

2 months ago

activity, bike, childhood, device, fun, fun activity, i, kid, memory, mobile, mobile device, nostalgia, outdoor, outdoor play, play, remember
You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

0

2 months ago

delicious, food, friends, friendship, fry, guess, humor, i, play, play on words, saying, spell, words
“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

0

2 months ago

athlete, attempt, begin, comedy, couch, fitness, humor, i, laziness, motivation, myself, procrastination, self-motivation, third, whisper

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

72 shares on Slack this month:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Just shared via Discord:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Just shared via Reddit:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Trending via YouTube:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Making waves on Reddit:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Shared recently on Discord:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨