Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Just shared via Instagram:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Trending via Messenger:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Going viral on Threads:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Making waves on Threads:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to keep my personal life and work separate, but my lunch break gossip sessions say otherwise! 😅🤫🤐

advice, breaking, breaking news, close, colleague, colleagues, discussion, humor, matter, matters, never, news, personal, personal matter, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

0

2 months ago

asking, chores, distraction, dryer, home, humor, i, laundry, moved, needs, Netflix, procrastination, start, still, stop, watching
Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

0

6 months ago

breakup, broke, celebrity, fame, girl, girls, group, lesbianism, money, music, music group, over, relationship, rumor, spice, Spice Girl
God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

0

2 weeks ago

annoyance, anything, God, humor, interaction, show, social, social interaction, someone, video, wants, worse
I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

0

4 months ago

airport, humor, i, late, lateness, lot, places, punctuality, travel
Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

0

5 months ago

astronomy, burning, burnout, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, meteor, meteor shower, nature, nothing, observation, remind, shower, still
My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

0

2 months ago

cutting, cutting off, health, healthy, humor, next, people, revenge, said, therapist, therapy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Starting a new life today, bye.

78 shares on Slack this month:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

81 shares on Discord this month:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Going viral on Pinterest:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Trending via Messenger:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Just landed via TikTok:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Live now on LinkedIn:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Just shared via WeChat:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨