Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Making waves on WeChat:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Trending via Instagram:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Breaking via Threads:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Clever and humorous quote about memory and perceptions, with playful animal humor about elephants.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't it ironic how our memory works? 🐘 Beauty might go unnoticed, but a single fat joke sticks like glue! Oh, the memory power of elephants – they never let us forget our slip-ups! 😅 #ElephantMemory #SizeMatters

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

74 shares on Slack this month:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I had a friend like me.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

42 shares on Threads this month:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Spotted on Facebook:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Freshly posted on Discord:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Going bananas on X:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Breaking via Messenger:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Going viral on X:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴