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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Broadcasted on X:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Going viral on TikTok:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Live now on Pinterest:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Freshly posted on Slack:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Trending via YouTube:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Trending via Discord:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Making waves on Reddit:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote image about feeling proud carrying pizza in public.

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Commentary:
Strutting down the street with a pizza is the new version of a red carpet moment 🍕🕺😎

behavior, carrying, feels, food, funny observation, humor, observation, pizza, public, showing, showing off, social, social behavior

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21 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

96 shares on Threads this month:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

43 shares on Twitch this month:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

39 shares on X this month:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Seen just now on Instagram:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Going viral on Slack:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Just landed via WeChat:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Making waves on X:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Spotted on Telegram:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Trending via Pinterest:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Carrying a pizza in public feels like you’re showing off.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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