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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Shared recently on Slack:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Just landed via Snapchat:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Seen just now on Threads:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

Going bananas on TikTok:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your friend's kid gets socks for Christmas: "AI slop strikes again! 🎁🤖👶"

AI, commenting, friend, friends, gift, gift opening, humor, kid, kids, media, opening, pictures, present, presents, social, social media, under

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

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angry, baby, barking, crying, dog, humor, noise, pet, sound
Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

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2 months ago

communication, dumb, humor, humor in love, love, man, marriage, marry, partner, patience, problems, questions, relationships, supportive, supportive partner, understanding
My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

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2 months ago

aliens, goal, humor, just, know, side, sure, year
I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

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2 months ago

believe, bladder, bodily, bodily functions, disbelief, functions, funny observation, gall, humor, i, observation, surprise
Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

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2 months ago

allure, confidence, eyes, feel, having, humor, i, Medusa, mythology, seductive, seductive eyes, self-expression
The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

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2 months ago

best, humor, mindset, Monday, motivation, pretend, procrastination, through, Tuesday, workweek

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

50 shares on X this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

48 shares on Threads this month:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Trending via Telegram:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Making waves on TikTok:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Live now on WhatsApp:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“I’m getting to an age where I realize I shouldn’t have laughed at my grandparents for having an ‘upstairs’ vacuum.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Spotted on Telegram:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨