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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Spotted on X:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Seen just now on Discord:

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Just landed via TikTok:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Going viral on Messenger:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Breaking via YouTube:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

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Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.
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Commentary:
Guess I'm stuck with current me as my sidekick on this hero's journey! 🦸‍♂️💪🤣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Discord this month:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Staying weird for my own sanity.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Spotted on Threads:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Live now on Twitch:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Trending via Twitch:

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Just shared via TikTok:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

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