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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,283

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Breaking via Telegram:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Spotted on Slack:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Making waves on TikTok:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

1 month ago

Humorous quote about dating over 40, comparing it to a lonely game of Hide and Seek.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dating over 40 is like playing an intense game of Hide and Seek, except you're the one in camouflage trying to blend in with the furniture! 🙈 Who needs a partner when you're the undisputed champion of disappearing acts? 🤣 #ExpertHider #AintNobodyGotTimeForThat

40, activity, age, dating, fun, fun activity, hide, hide and seek, humor, life, loneliness, looking, over, relationships, seek, seeking, single, single life

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

83 shares on Threads this month:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

82 shares on Threads this month:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Men are very good at being women lately.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,349

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Trending via Reddit:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Spotted on Instagram:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Breaking via Facebook:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

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