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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1752 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,914

Funny Quotes Topics

14,731

Funny Quotes Images

11,914

10 seconds ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Spotted on Reddit:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Trending via YouTube:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Just landed via Threads:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Just landed via Twitch:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

6 months ago

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid 🥛💰… Yes, I'll take 10 of those ridiculously priced items. Who needs savings when you've got the charm of an old-timey dairy worker? 💁‍♀️🐄 #ShoppingLikeIts1889"

ads, buying, buying power, comparison, economy, humor, i, irony, milkmaid, power, Victorian

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1752 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,914

Funny Quotes Topics

14,731

Funny Quotes Images

11,914

10 seconds ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Just landed via Threads:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Making waves on WeChat:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Just landed via Facebook:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Live now on Snapchat:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Live now on Snapchat:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Going viral on Reddit:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Making waves on Messenger:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

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