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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Making waves on WeChat:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Going viral on Telegram:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Just landed via Instagram:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Breaking via Instagram:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Making waves on TikTok:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Witty text questioning men's awareness about dating post-breakup, humorous and playful vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like some men need to uninstall their "ex" from their operating system before downloading a new relationship 😂🤦‍♂️💔

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Instagram this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

35 shares on Slack this month:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Livin’ la vida vodka!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Just shared via Messenger:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Spotted on Reddit:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Breaking via YouTube:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Just shared via Messenger:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Trending via Pinterest:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Seen just now on Slack:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

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