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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,779

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Spotted on YouTube:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Live now on Slack:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Spotted on Messenger:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Going viral on Discord:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Spotted on YouTube:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Just shared via Instagram:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Live now on Pinterest:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

0
Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like some men need to uninstall their "ex" from their operating system before downloading a new relationship 😂🤦‍♂️💔

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

41 shares on Slack this month:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

85 shares on X this month:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

We could have high-speed rail that connects the entire country, but instead we get AI porn bots that steal all of our drinking water to entertain the dumbest people alive.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Going viral on Threads:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Freshly posted on X:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Seen just now on Threads:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Spotted on Telegram:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Going viral on Instagram:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Just shared via Instagram:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

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