Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Just landed via WeChat:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Live now on WeChat:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Live now on Slack:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Trending via Threads:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Careful what you ask for! My life story requires a spoiler alert and legal protection! 😅🔍📝"

ask, confidentiality, humor, interaction, joke, me, NDA, privacy, sarcasm, sign, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

0

2 months ago

annual, getting, health, humor, mental, mental health, music, report, self-reflection, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, worse, wrapped, year
Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

0

2 months ago

cake, food, food name, humor, name, Paris, place, place name, responsible, rice, rice cake, Texas, wordplay
Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

0

4 months ago

derivative, disappointed, disappointment, dream, just, last, nights, obvious, stuff, symbolism
Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

0

2 months ago

balance, days, even, feel, forget, getting, hectic, humor, life, life balance, lose, much, never, overwhelming, perspective, phone, phone time, priorities, relief, sight, stress, stress relief, things, time, weeks
This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

0

2 months ago

around, busy, doom, doom scroll, downtime, i, internet, leisure, media, pajamas, relaxation, rest, scroll, sit, social, social media, time, weekend
People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, boredom, cynicism, heart, humor, humor quote, i, know, least, people, sarcasm, say, stuff, think, true, war, well, work, WWIII

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Trending via Discord:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Going viral on Threads:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Seen just now on YouTube:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Going viral on Threads:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨