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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,998

Funny Quotes Topics

14,797

Funny Quotes Images

11,998

1 minute ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Reported on Messenger:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Just shared via Threads:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Making waves on Reddit:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Trending via Messenger:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Just landed via Threads:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

6 months ago

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, on Valentine's Day, it's important to sprinkle your happiness, not rub it in like a glitter bomb 💖 Let the couples have their moment, because let's be honest, we all know they'll go back to arguing over who left the toilet seat up tomorrow anyway! 🚽😆 #SpreadLoveNotToiletSeatIssues"

celebration, couples, day, enjoy, happiness, humor, irony, let, love, once, relationships, single, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,998

Funny Quotes Topics

14,797

Funny Quotes Images

11,998

1 minute ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Live now on TikTok:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Trending via Pinterest:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

Live now on YouTube:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Making waves on YouTube:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

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