Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Don't procrastinate expressing yourself! 🕰️ Let your loved ones know how you feel before it's too late, or your final gesture might lack the impact you were going for! 🖕😂 #CommunicateNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

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2 months ago

almost, conversation, flirting, girl, humor, impossible, interaction, social, social interaction, talk
Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

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2 months ago

bad, better, expectations, humor, imagination, optimism, perspective, pessimism, reality, things
If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

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2 months ago

chocolate, death, death penalty, dessert, ever, hope, humor, i, irony, option, penalty, wish
Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

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2 months ago

equivalent, forget, forgetting, home, humor, leaving, medieval, modern, phone, sword, technology, times
I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

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2 months ago

bacon, food, health, humor, i, me, much, never, overeating, say, self-awareness, terms, think, thought, too, while
Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

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2 months ago

addicted, addiction, count, disorientation, Google, Google Maps, humor, maps, navigation, phone, phone addiction, screen, screen time, should, technology, technology humor, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

78 shares on X this month:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

52 shares on Threads this month:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

96 shares on X this month:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

32 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

This is an awful time to be an educated person.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Spotted on Threads:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Spotted on Threads:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Going viral on Slack:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Just shared via Slack:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨